if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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