theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
