I love black thongs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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