You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
