apparently the secret to your success is patron
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
