fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
