absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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