He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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