Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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