was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
