People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
