Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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