I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
