I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
