You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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