We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
