He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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