you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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