There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
