Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
