have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I fill condoms, not promises.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
