genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
