I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
