Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
