I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
