how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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