how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
