the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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