we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You are a genius and a whore.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
