Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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