They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
