You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
