There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
