Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
