Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
