Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
