Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
