ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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