Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
