Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
