We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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