Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
