my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
