Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
