Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
