On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So vagazzling was a success
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
