there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
