im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
