Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
