Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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